Please Don't Fear Me
by Lyaksandra
Summary: Cameron goes over the edge, but she can always count on John to bring her back
1. Chapter 1

I ran out of the house to stop the burglars. It had been pointless; they were already speeding down the driveway in a van.

I took note of the logo on the side of the van; it was a well-known mall complex. The van had no license plates, so the police database was out of the question. I would have to track them by standard means. Like attempting to acquire the van immediately, and failing to do so, search each of the malls owned by the company. This particular van would have traces of thermite on the bedding.

First things first, I was going to need a vehicle. I looked around for any witnesses, finding none I plotted the fastest course down the hill in front of the house, and jumped.

I visually re-acquired the van as I ran, slid and skipped down the hill avoiding obstacles. Cutting through the hill had been the best course of action, now I only needed a fast car.

Probability favored me. When I got to the streets, I recognized a Ford Mustang model 2005 waiting at a nearby traffic light. Running at top speed before the light changed I stopped by the driver's door. The window was down, so I could be straightforward.

"Hello sir," I said beaming my best smile.

"Uh, hello?" the young man in the car answered nervously.

"It appears you caught a piece of clothing with the door, it's hanging out of the car."

"Oh," the man responded, and proceeded to open the door.

As soon as the door opened a little, I pulled it, and dragged him out of the vehicle. He cursed at me when he landed hard on the pavement. I got behind the wheel, closed the door, and looked at him. It was then that it happened, like the glitch in my left hand, but bigger. I flashed him my middle finger, and stepped on the gas to take off, over-revving the car, tires screeching.

The burglars had interrupted my self-testing standby; I was trying to determine the origin of these glitches. Assuming by the silence that the house was empty, they broke in to steal an endoskeleton I was getting ready to burn. I was going to have to ask John for assistance with my self-testing; going into standby alone at the house had proved a catastrophic idea. I couldn't help but wonder if I would have made this mistake before my chip was damaged.

I sped through the traffic lights ignoring whether they were red or not. Cornering some turns at 100 kilometers per hour, and drifting around others, was gaining me much undesired attention. I could not let the burglars keep the endoskeleton though; they were probably working for Kaliba.

Recalling that John might get to the house and not find me there, I decided to let him know I was out. I took my cellphone out from my leather jacket's pocket and dialed his number. He picked up after it rang three times.

"Cameron?"

"Yes," I answered and then punched in my code.

John punched in his code. "Is something wrong? You're not one to call just to say hello."

It was not as if he would give me the chance anyway. Another glitch, but this time in my CPU, this problem was getting out of hand.

"I just called to let you know I had to go out, so you will probably find the house empty when you return."

After barely finishing my line, I faced a problem. A car transporter was blocking the street I had just turned into. It was empty, and the road ahead did not appear heavily transited, so I quickly calculated my odds of a safe landing. Getting slightly favorable ones, I floored the gas pedal and aimed for the trailer's ramp.

A delay such as waiting for the transporter to move, or having to double back was unacceptable. I would have to rely on probability being on my side again. Was this another glitch? A computer is not supposed to rely on the unknown, or less than optimal odds of success. I added one more glitch to my reviewing list.

"Are you there Cameron?" John's voice yelled from the speaker of my phone.

"Yes, I'm here. Is there anything else you need to tell me?"

The car's front tires rammed hard against the ramp, making the front leap, and the rear bumper hit the pavement, which in turn ripped it off the car.

"What do you mean Cameron? I was asking you where were you going but you never answered, and what was that noise just now?" John's voice was starting to sound distressed. I decided it was time to end the call.

The car was now flying several meters above the ground and descending towards the street.

"It was nothing," I lied, "I just wanted to know how it felt to get away from it all." The latter was not so much a lie, at the highest point of a jump, gravity becomes null for an instant, which filled my mind with positive feedback.

As I landed with a huge crash on the ground, I heard John alarmed, asking what the noise had been. Ignoring him, I hung up the call.

The van was a number of blocks ahead of me, but the thought of losing sight of it did not disturb me anymore. According to the route we had been following, I was able to determine which one of the mall complexes they were most likely going to stop at.

I saw the van turning into the last corner before the mall complex, so I slowed down the car and stopped there. Knowing the complex was close, I decided to proceed on foot, in order to reduce the chances of detection.

This mall complex was clearly different from the rest; it was obviously more important judging by the amount and size of the office buildings.

It was the middle of the day, so I decided that stealth would be the best approach, instead of forcing my way through the place. There were so many people around right now, that I would risk making this incident massively public.

Looking around I determined that the mall would have at least one direct access to the offices, and getting in through there, melding with the crowds, would provide me with cover. I made my way around to the mall's main entrance.

Walking to the back end of the mall, I started calculating the position of the office buildings. My calculations pointed me in the direction of two doors. One of them was polished metal with no special characteristics. When people try so hard to be inconspicuous, they manage the opposite effect.

I walked around in the surroundings of the polished metal door, and waited for a chance to walk in.

Once no one was looking my way, I got inside. The door led into a long corridor with offices at the sides. I made my way through it trying to make as little noise as possible; everyone in the offices seemed to be busy and didn't notice me.

When I reached the end of the corridor, I saw an elevator with a sign that said management. I pressed the button to call it. Kaliba was most likely involved, and they would surely hold such strategically advantageous positions.

The top floor was going to be my start point to see if I could find the leaders first. What I found there was very unusual. It was like no office I had seen before. Mainly because no regular office should have looked like this. It was a single room taking the entirety of the building's area. Split at the middle by a small two-step stair, the lower ground covered with ceramic flooring, and the higher with parquet.

In the middle of the higher ground was a single desk with two tall plants at its sides. A number of work related and decorative objects populated the desk. Behind it, sitting on a high-back leather chair, was a man in his middle forties looking at me.

"So you came alone?" he asked, smiling and with a mocking tone in his voice. "Such a brave leader of the resistance Connor is! Sending his puppet to do his bidding while he hides in his house."

Humans would always be an enigma to me. This men knew what I was, why would he try to taunt me? Surely he knows my kind cannot feel anger.

"John Connor is not aware of my presence here, I came on my own." I answered while scanning the room for any traps. No heat or electric signatures were present in the room. He would not face a Terminator without at least a planned escape route, and yet, I could not find anything out of the ordinary in here.

"Are you looking for traps or secret corridors?" the man asked. "You'll find none such thing in here, this is after all my sanctuary, I wouldn't defile its perfection. You see, I'm pretty sure I won't be needing anything, I know your kind, and after we have a chat I'm certain you won't kill me." The man ended his sentence looking at me. I was sure I could see smugness in his face.

"What makes you so sure I won't terminate you?"

"The fact that only I know where the triple-eight is being kept. You see, in the future I did many services for your maker, and it decided to reward me. I was sent to the past to direct one of our many operations, and receive the luxuries that entails." He walked around his desk, indicating around the room with his arms.

"You know I will torture you to get the information I require," I answered walking towards him.

"I'm trained, I won't talk that easily. Go ahead and try, and waste whatever little time you have before the endoskeleton is moved from this place."

I lunged forward closing the space between us instantly, but when I was in front of him, he indicated something with his eyes. He had some sort of remote control in his hand.

"With the press of a button I can call security up," he explained smiling. "I'm sure you can take them all out, but you'll risk this becoming a big incident, and again, waste valuable time."

Humans could be so closed-minded. There were always alternatives, especially with the wider range of options at my disposal. Being faster than he could possibly be, I reached out for his hand, and crushed it along with the controller embedding parts of it in his skin. The man fell down to his knees grabbing his hand while cursing at me. What was it with humans and the need to use foul language?

"Will you talk now?" I asked him.

"No!" the man yelled back at me, "I won't tell you. You're already wasting valuable time here, why don't you go and look for it yourself."

"You know that I won't find it in time, so if you know how my kind works, then you know I will torture you for the information." I lit up my eyes to make my point.

The man laughed at me before speaking again. "I'm obviously not fond of pain, especially after months of living in such luxury, but I can take it. So go ahead metal bitch, and when you fail, go back to your master with your tail between your legs."

Lifting him by the neck with one hand, I punched his solar plexus with the other; before he fell to the ground again, I punched him in the face, feeling and hearing the crunch of his nose breaking. The man flew a pair of meters away from me, and I closed in to continue.

"I'm not going to talk!" he yelled, holding his nose with his good hand. Once I was in range, he spat blood at my face.

"We'll see." Was my simple answer, and without minding his bloodied spit, I continued with my task.

After a while, I realized he was telling the truth, he was not going to spill the beans, as the human saying goes. So I decided to change my approach, and try to at least extract other information from him. Perhaps the purpose in acquiring the triple-eight, were they after research material?

"Tell me, what do you plan to do with it?" I questioned, pinning him by the neck against the parquet floor.

"Oh, that I can tell you," he answered trying to smile. "One of these days, when you least expect it, we will send it to kill the Connor boy; and trust me, working with us, it will succeed."

Having obtained at least a part of the information I needed, I decided to retreat from the building. I walked backwards away from the man, for some reason I could not take my eyes off him. Was I experiencing another glitch?

"That's right!" he angrily yelled at me. "Take off and go back to your owner, so he can see how much of a failure you are. Don't worry; when we kill him, I'll make sure to save you a couple of body parts as souvenirs."

My hand twitched. Then, a flood of commands overcame my processor. Orders I was not issuing. I was barely able to override some of them, when more had already taken their place.

The next instant I was pinning him to the floor again. I punched the parquet floor hard, making a hole in it. I proceeded to grab a fistful of wood. Splinters were tearing my pseudo-skin as I clenched around them, but I did not care.

Still pinning the man to the floor, I saw in his eyes the reflection of a blue light that flared suddenly, indicating my optics were lit up at maximum.

The orders kept going to my body faster than I could cancel them. I kept trying, but my body did not stop.

I grabbed the man by the hair and saw his face contort in a horrified expression, as the realization of what was about to happen finally dawned on him. He started screaming, struggling and wriggling uselessly in my grasp. Without a word, I began carving his flesh with the wood in my other hand.

Starting with the face.


	2. Chapter 2

I was standing there in the office, frozen, looking at the man's corpse. For some reason I could not understand, I was unable to move. Until they came in. John and Sarah Connor.

Unbeknownst to me they had been shopping in the mall, spotted me, and decided to investigate. At least that was what I managed to understand from their explanation.

Sarah was shaking me by the shoulders, yelling questions about the corpse, about my reason for being there in the first place. Unable to reply in any other way, I produced a verbatim spoken copy, of the day's events. She flinched when I imitated her son's voice to represent the exchange we had made over the phone.

While feeding Sarah the information, I looked at John. His face showed fear, disgust. Was he looking at the corpse? He should not; such a sight could scar for life a young man of his age. Then I realized he was looking at me. John Connor was scared and disgusted of me.

The man had given me the location of the triple-eight, but at what cost.

Then without my control, I started seeing a memory of Allison Young.

"_I wanna go home," Alison said in an almost inaudible whisper. Her face was bruised and dirty; there were cuts on one side. She cried, silently, with her eyes closed, and a small pout in her lips. There was so much sadness in her expression, the reason had been unfathomable for me._

_A triple eight had burnt her arm with a laser to mark her as a prisoner of Skynet. I had beaten her repeatedly. We had logs on other tortures. The prisoners had never made such an expression, whether they were male or female._

In a form of autopilot, I followed Sarah Connor's orders to help clean any evidence from the office. Then we retrieved the triple-eight endoskeleton without major incidents, and left the mall complex.

It was then that the realization came to me.

The horrors I had imposed on Allison Young, broke her mind beyond what any physical torture could do. I had forced her to revive the memories of Judgment day, the loss of everything she once knew, the loss of everything she held dear. Then, she had found hope once again, in the resistance and in John Connor. This time though, I was showing her utter despair. Once more, everything was going to be taken away. She knew her death was coming, and there was no way out.

On the ride home, John made it clear that he wanted to be as far away from me as possible. His face was still showing that expression of disgust from earlier. It was then that not only did I understand, but also, for a moment, I comprehended.

I felt what Allison had.

Sadness, fear, loneliness; loss, abandonment, despair, and nostalgia. I felt completely lost. Overwhelmed by so many emotions. I looked at the city from my window, and cried in silence.

No one spoke a word on the ride home. When we arrived, John immediately went to his room and slammed the door shut. Sarah instructed me to burn the endoskeleton at once, and then went into the living room to gather the paperwork she had compiled from the messages in the basement. After that, she started going around the house to gather other things of importance.

The burglary had left our location compromised, so we would have to move to another location as soon as Derek returned. He had disappeared again, without saying anything.

"Earth to Tin-miss!" Sarah yelled. "When I said now, I meant it, so stop standing there and move!"

Apparently, I had been standing near the entrance for a while. Without replying, I walked outside and went to the SUV to retrieve the endoskeleton. I carried it over to the tool shed, and proceeded to retrieve some pieces I was missing from my replacements inventory. After that, I covered the remains with thermite, and lit them with a flare.

While the triple-eight endoskeleton burnt, I catalogued the parts I had taken for myself, and hid them in different boxes in the toolshed. I decided to stay until the burning was over. When there was nothing but dust, I left the shed, and walked back to the house. The sun was setting down, the time for my nightly rounds would come soon, and I could be away from the house, and from John.

-O-

I had patrolled the neighborhood in the same state I left the mall complex. An autopilot that did not reach into my consciousness entirely. This was a security threat, since I was unsure of my reaction times, of even if I could react properly to an attack in such state.

Most of my patrolling time I had spent, as humans call it, doing soul searching. Back at the house, I continued my ministrations, standing in the living room to have a view of the exterior. Exactly at three in the morning, I finally reached a decision. Only John could know about it, and it had to be immediately.

Walking up the stairs making as little noise as possible, I reached the door to John's room. Opening the door slowly and carefully I walked inside, and closed it behind me.

Standing beside him, I caressed his head. He mumbled something in his sleep, slightly shuffling his position, but did not wake up. Moving to a more aggressive approach, I started caressing his face.

I reveled in the sensations on my skin. His face was so soft and warm.

John mumbled again, this time he started to wake up. I had successfully woken him up without alarming him.

"What's going on?" he questioned while rubbing his eyes. "Cameron?"

"Yes," I answered whispering.

"What did you need that required sneaking into my room at this time? What time is it?" John's face looked half-asleep, and there was anger in his voice.

"It's ten minutes past three in the morning, I need to apologize for today, and request a favor from you."

"Three in the morning?" John said shaking his head. "What is so important that you had to wake me up? Couldn't you let me sleep and tell me later?"

"No."

"Oh my god, you've got to be kidding me, just go away and let me sleep, we'll talk later Cameron."

"I'm sorry John, but please hear me out," I begged him.

"Cameron, you're a Terminator, whatever it is I'm pretty damn sure you can handle it on your own. I'm so tired, today was an awful day, and we know whose fault that is. What I saw today is nightmare material, and for some reason I was sleeping well, why did you have to ruin that too?"

"You're right, forgive me. I will find a way to work this out on my own and won't be a bother to you again. Good bye." I smiled at him, and turned to leave the room.

"Cameron," John called behind me. I decided to ignore him and leave; I had so much to do.

Before I could walk out of the room, his hand grabbed mine. I looked back. John had jumped out from the bed and was trying to stop me.

"Come closer." John's face and voice showed surprise, his heart rate was accelerating, and his body temperature dropped just a little. Was he afraid again?

"Cameron, are you crying?"

"No."

"I'm pretty sure those are tears," John stated.

"I'm not crying. I don't know. Am I crying?" It was until then that I realized. I touched my cheek with my hand, and it was indeed wet.

"What's happening to you? Come here and sit on the bed." John's tone of voice had changed. He pulled me to sit beside him on the bed, and I allowed him.

After a moment in silence, I started explaining about my findings. That after the car bombing, everything had been going downhill. How I kept getting glitches, at first the hand, and recently even in my CPU. I went on about me becoming a threat to him instead of being his protector.

After I was done, it was time to make the request I had originally come to make.

"I want you to terminate me."

John was immobile for several seconds after I spoke.

"Take out my chip," I continued, "and destroy it. You may want to keep my chassis to use it with a reprogrammed chip, but I would advise against that, you should consider burning my endoskeleton."

"Why are you asking me to do such a thing?" John's face and voice had an undecipherable mixture of expressions as he talked. "You know I wouldn't, I couldn't do that."

"But you have to."

"Why me?"

"Because you are John Connor, I wouldn't want anyone else to do it."

"Just because I am me, doesn't say much. I've lived my life carrying a responsibility that was pinned on me. You sound like you're just trying to get on the bandwagon here."

"In twenty twenty-seven I attempted infiltrating John Connor's camp. He alone was able to recognize me for what I was, which led to my subsequent capture and scrubbing."

"Are you smiling?" John interrupted me.

"I don't know, am I? Touching my mouth with my hand, I confirmed that I was. Without my knowledge.

"Yes you are," he mused, and smiled at me. I answered his smile by making mine bigger.

"Let me continue."

"Ok."

"In a sense John Connor had set me free from being a Skynet drone, a sacrificial pawn, he gave me a new purpose. Through the greater goals and responsibilities he bestowed upon me, came a greater value I did not think possible I could have. I wasn't one of the many drones anymore, I was unique; and was trusted with protecting the fate of an entire race, not just with the termination of one amongst billions. A task that would have obviously led into my termination also."

"Wow, I didn't know you guys could 'feel' so much about the reprogramming."

"Most don't, I'm different."

"Yeah I remember that, I don't know why I forgot along the way. So after telling me all of that, you think I would destroy you? Let me tell you that had the opposite effect."

"But you must. If it makes it easier, let me give you an example."

"Ok," John answered, but he was smiling and shaking his head. He did not believe I could convince him, and perhaps he was correct, but I had to try."

"Living beings are born, then grow up, reproduce, and die. That is the simplified cycle of life. Even though I'm not a living being, there is an analogy. Through John Connor I was born, or rather re-born, I grew beyond my basic functions and programming; therefore it is logical that through him I must die too."

John did not respond in any way. After a very long silence, I decided to deem my task a failure.

"I understand." Informing him, I got up from the bed. "Perhaps I should ask Derek Reese to do it, I'm sure he would gladly comply."

"I'm sure he would, but I wouldn't let him. Cameron is that a pout in your lips?"

"No. I don't know. My chip is malfunctioning, there are involuntary orders being sent to my body, I have become an ineffective protector John."

"You're pouting Cameron," he mused, "come and sit down please, I have some questions. Hopefully I can put some sense into your head along the way."

I sat again. John put his legs on the bed, and sat facing me. He turned my face around with his hand, and looked into my eyes as if he was searching for something.

"I'm sorry," John apologized, "it's just that, well it's so late, and you woke me up to give me a barrage of information and ask me to kill you."

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok, forget about that, I just wanted to get it out of the way. Now let's get down to it, if your chip's damage is causing software issues, we could start working on a rig like the one we used for Vic, but more powerful. We can try to repair the programming, can't we?"

"Yes that is possible," I admitted, "but there is physical damage to it. It's impossible to repair it using current technology."

"I know, but I thought about that too." John winked at me and continued. "We can try to move the damaged code into some other good sectors, and reconstruct whatever is lost."

"That is possible also, but you don't have that knowledge yet. It's doubtful you had that much knowledge even in the future."

"You can teach me, we can work it out in time. I don't care how long it takes, I'd rather do that than scrap you." His face was so serious, I could see a glimpse of the man he would become.

"Why?"

"I… don't know," his voice was unsure, and his face had lost the previous expression. "Because I need you to protect me."

"I'm no longer fit for that role, a computer suffering involuntary actions is useless. If that is your reason, then you should terminate me. You can send a replacement back in the future."

"But we just agreed that we can fix you. Also you said it yourself, you're unique, that means you're irreplaceable."

"It would be a lengthy process, and your life would be at risk in the meantime. It's unacceptable."

"But possible."

"But unacceptable."

"Cameron…" John let out a long sigh. "So you just want me to destroy you because you are hell-bent on the idea basically."

"No, there are reasons."

"There aren't, all the reasons you gave me can be worked out. I don't even know if I will have a replacement to send when I need it, that's just as big a gamble as trying to repair you."

"Probably."

"So you admit it? I never thought you could be so brazen. You do see you're not making sense, right? There is no logic in this, unless you also lost your logical thought."

"Maybe I do see that, and no, my logic appears to be working correctly."

"Then there's another reason, you're lying to me, again." John's expression hardened, I could see the disgust and the distrust coming back.

I did not want this; it was the worst possible outcome. Where did the conversation go awry? I started reviewing the whole conversation, trying to plot a recovery before the damage was irreversible.

"Tell me the truth Cameron," John demanded, his tone was dry, emotionless. "Tell me the reason, or rather the real reason, behind all this suicidal nonsense."

"There is no other reason," I lied. Trying to back it up I smiled at him.

"Of course you're lying!" John scolded with his teeth clenched. Then he grabbed my arm hard, and forcefully shook it. "Besides being a liar, you insinuate I'm stupid. Look at this!"

Looking where his hand was grasping, I realized my hand was twitching.

"That's just the glitch John," I lied again, "it's unrelated to our conversation."

He slumped and then dropped to the bed. "Once a Terminator always a Terminator. I need to sleep, go away, machine." Putting emphasis on the last word, John turned away from me.

I stood up and walked to leave, but realized my body had stopped obeying again. His expression and the last words he spoke kept replaying in my mind.

Unable to move, I decided to stay in complete silence until my body responded. Probably John would assume I left if he could not hear me anymore.

My field of vision was being distorted by something. The deduction was not hard to make, I was crying again.

Therefore, I did the only thing I could do. Soul searching, while crying.

-O-

After some minutes in thought, John's voice interrupted me. "I know you're still there."

I decided to stay silent.

"Why didn't you leave?"

"I… don't know." I answered, and realized I was unable to keep the flow of my sentence.

"Then don't think about it, just do it," Johns answer came with a scoffing tone.

"I tried… but I… I just couldn't." My sentences were breaking badly. Was the damage to my CPU progressive? Was it extending to the linguistic areas?

"If I didn't know any better," he said, "with you being a Terminator with no other purpose than killing people and all that. I'd dare saying you're feeling like crap for lying to me after all you said I meant to you."

"Not you, future you."

"We both know trying to separate us would be quite a stretch. Why don't you just spill, and see if that makes all the issues stop for now."

"Ok." I had to admit there was logic in what he said. Hours earlier, my CPU started doing things that I thought were impossible. Even if it was for an instant, and due to a failure, I had experienced feelings. Not the same as humans, since I do not have hormones, but in my mind the end-result had been the same. When I compared all the data, the only conclusion I could draw, was that I had truly felt emotions back then.

So it was worth trying what John suggested.

Still standing with my back to him, I revealed to him the secret reason why I had requested my termination. I explained that the day before, when we were at that office, he had looked at me as if I was the most despicable being. Then on the ride back home, he had made sure he was away from me. Making it clear he didn't want me at his side anymore.

"Since my chip was damaged I've kept alienating you against my will. Then yesterday the distance between us finally became insurmountable. It was something I never wanted to happen. It was just too much, I couldn't stand being forsaken by you. I would rather cease being, than feeling again what I felt, even if it had been just a moment."

I had regained control over my body. For reasons I could not understand, apparently I had felt how John thought I did. So, after confessing, I was able to move again.

"You were right," I accepted, "I can move again. I'm sorry to have kept you awake, I will take my leave now."

John laughed lightly, it did not seem like he was mocking me.

"You're impossible Cameron," he mused, "after everything is said and done, by the end of the day you will always be a Terminator; but more than that, or anything else, you will always be a little girl."

While I pondered the meaning of what he had said, John got out of bed and stood behind me. Then he pulled me into his arms, and embraced me tightly.

Just as suddenly as the first time, my mind was flooded. But this time it was all positive. This time I felt good. John's embrace made me feel safe, appreciated.

He loosened his embrace, and I felt at loss again.

"Look at me," he called. I complied and turned around.

John cleaned my tears with his hands. After he was done, he cupped my cheek with his hand.

"Do you really not realize that after what you just said, there's no way I could let you go, let alone allow you to disappear from my life."

"No, why? My explaining I am malfunctioning, and that in human terms I am a coward, compels you to keep me at your side?"

His face fell at my statement. John was disappointed again. I was failing to grasp an obvious truth he already had, and for some reason this hurt him.

Even by inaction, I was a threat to John Connor. I was surer than ever that my termination was necessary, by any means. If I could not sway John, I would ask Derek or Sarah, as much as I wanted to avoid that.

Suddenly, my mind started fading away. John must had seen reason and somehow retrieved my chip without me noticing. All my functions and processes were ceasing, leaving nothing. I was no more.

Humans would call this a state of peace. That was it, I was at peace, and it was good. Soon enough even that would be gone, but I had no regrets.

The feeling of peace was so warm.

Wait, why was I still aware of that? I struggled in my mind against a thick fog to regain control of my senses. How much time had passed? Was John Connor in danger? No response from my internal clock, and none from my chassis either.

I felt something was within my reach amidst the thick fog. My optics. I accessed the systems, but there was nothing, only pitch-black darkness. This made no sense, unless my eyelids were closed.

To get my eyelids to open I would have to activate the sensory array throughout my pseudo-skin. It was a huge task in my state, but I would succeed. John could be in danger.

My sensory array started activating slowly. I immediately worked on getting a response from my internal clock.

When I finally received an answer from my clock, I knew something was very wrong. Perhaps I had been attacked with an electromagnetic weapon. My internal clock reported that since I lost awareness, only eight seconds had elapsed.

Having completely activated my skin's sensory array, I opened my eyes and started retrieving feedback from my pseudo-skin and optics.

John's lips, they were pressed against mine.

I noticed a lot of information in my mind, but it no longer was an avalanche. It was manageable and identifiable.

The information consisted mainly of reports sent by my skin sensory array, which somehow were getting more responses than necessary from my mind. Besides the basic information, like John's temperature and skin texture; there was a lot more. Things as varied and opposed as feelings of security and warmth, contrasting with fear of something.

My analysis had barely begun, when John separated from me, leaving me feeling forsaken again.

"Even if you don't understand yet," John spoke softly, and smiled. "I understand, and for now that is enough for me. In time you will, I'm sure of that."

"Understand what?" I questioned.

"Have I told you how much I like it when you tilt your head like that?"

"No. Understand what John?"

"I can't tell you, you need to find out by yourself."

"But if this is related to my malfunctioning I need to know now." I said with a demanding tone.

"Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with you. You just need to learn."

"Many things are wrong; I don't think learning will fix them."

"Trust me, please." John requested, and then he ran his fingers through my hair.

"Learn what?" I inquired.

"To control all those new things in your mind, and to regulate them."

"Is that possible?"

"Yes."

"Why are you so certain?"

"Just trust me, ok? I will be with you every step of the way to help you."

"You will?"

"I will."

"By my side? With me? Us, together?"

"Yes," John answered smiling wide.

"Thank you for explaining."

John tilted his head and smiled at me while he caressed my face.

After a moment, I decided to act upon a thought that had been lingering in my mind. "May I request something?"

"Of course, as long as it's nothing about terminating you."

"According to my calculations, I have concluded that you harbor romantic feelings for me. Is this correct?"

He laughed in response to my question.

"Wait Cameron, I'm sorry for laughing, don't pout like that."

"I was not," I retorted.

"Right. Again, I'm sorry for laughing, it's just you have a way of saying things sometimes."

There was a long silence. Which I promptly decided to interrupt. "So?"

John started slightly pacing in front of me rubbing the back of his head. "Okay. I like you. And I have feelings for you. There, I admitted it."

"Then it would be logical that you wish to kiss me again, would it not?"

John laughed lightly at what I had said. "Yes Cameron, I would very much like that. But you know, it's late, and I'm so tired, I don't want to be standing up, I'd like to lay down until the sun comes up."

"Oh. I will let you rest then."

"Oh my god," John exclaimed walking to me, "that tone you use, and that face you make when you're disappointed, they make my heart break." He grabbed both my hands and pulled me towards him. Then he backed up to sit on the bed.

"Here's your first lesson." He stated. "I was teasing you back there, you need to learn the signals and the mood. And what I meant is that I wanted you to lay on the bed with me."

The temperature in John's body was rising due to increased blood flow.

"If that's ok with you," he remarked, looking down and making a sheepish face.

"Yes, I would like that very much."

We lied on the bed together. He put his arm under my head so I could rest it, and pulled me close to his face. We kissed, and this time I stayed conscious; so I corresponded the kiss trying to return all the tenderness I could feel coming from him.

-END-


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